Message in a Helmet
by Dawnstorm101
Summary: POTENTIAL INFINITY WAR SPOILERS WITHIN. The AI continued: "Mr.… The boss recorded a message for ya. In case he… in case today happened the way it happened." "Show me," Pepper blurted before she could think better of it.


A/N: So this was a Tumblr prompt, and I don't normally post twice, but I'm pretty proud of this one. And I don't write enough Pepperony. So, after 1am when I've been meaning to post this all day, here ya go!

* * *

Tony knew the moment the blast hit him that he wasn't walking this one off. The HUD's biomonitor flashed bright red; Friday had the courtesy to silence the blaring alarm after a couple beeps. Agony seared through his side, but by the time he hit the ground, he couldn't feel it. He felt only dazed and tired.

"Friday, open the helmet!" someone yelled. "Open it now!"

Stuttering a bit, the helmet retracted. A slim hand caught his head before it could hit the ground. He squinted, adjusting to the sudden flare of sunlight, before a scared young face faded into view: Peter.

"Hey, Pete," he murmured, a smiling sloppily at him.

"Hey, Tony," he said, voice wobbling and his attempt to smile back failing.

Tony sucked in a gasp as pain stabbed his side again. He clenched his fists, discovering that Friday had retracted the gloves too. Peter, keeping his hand beneath Tony's head, twisted to look at something Tony couldn't see.

"Hush, Tony, I've got you," Rhodey soothed. "We'll get you patched up-"

Tony lifted his head pressing down on the gaping wound in his side. He grabbed his friend's wrist, rasping "You know what a fatal wound looks like, Rhodey."

"Tony, no, don't give up on me-"

"It's not giving up," Tony said, resting his head back on the ground. "It's just… retiring. This… this was the only way it was ever gonna end for me."

"No. No, Dad- Tony, please," Peter begged, squeezing his shoulder so hard the suit's metal squealed.

"It's ok, kid. It's ok."

He shifted his gaze to Rhodey, who hadn't quite given up on trying to stem the bleeding, but his one hand was clutching Tony's hand. "Just- just tell Pepper-"

He broke off, unsure of what to say and interrupted by a coughing fit anyway, and Rhodey just nodded, more focused on keeping him steady to minimize the pain. "I will, Tones. Promise."

Tony lifted his free hand to cup Peter's chin, brushing his tears away with his thumb. "You did good, son. You did good."

Tony let his eyes drift shut, letting go with a final exhale.

-MCU-

Rhodey held Peter close as they limped home through the portal Stephen held open. He glanced over his shoulder just before stepping through, watching Loki carefully lift Tony's limp body off the ground. Valkyrie was beside him, steadying him, while Thor was a little ways off, aided by Bucky as he picked up Steve.

 _Thank God we only lost those two,_ Rhodey thought.

But it was enough – no, too much. Peter hadn't quite stopped crying for the remainder of the battle, and had collapsed beside Tony the moment it ended. For one terrifying moment, Rhodey thought he'd lost the kid too, but he was only exhausted and grieving. So Rhodey had gently urged him to his feet, and now they were stepping back into the safety of the compound, broken suits discarded for scavenging in the clean-up.

Except the worst wasn't quite over. Once they were over the threshold and out of the way of the others, Rhodey looked up to see Pepper. Neither adult said a thing – Rhodey just watched the realization strike Pepper like a punch to the gut, the answer to her most pressing question evident in Rhodey's broken expression. As she burst into tears, Happy ran in to hold her, clenching his eyes shut as if the power of denial could change the inevitable.

Rhodey nudged the kid over, and the group of four just held each other and cried.

-MCU-

Later that night, Pepper was huddled on her and Tony's bed, dressed in sweatpants and one of Tony's shirts. It hung loosely about her thin frame, but if she drew it tight around her and closed her eyes, she could almost pretend he was hugging her again.

Rhodey was asleep behind her. He'd offered to stay up with her, but the battle had him so exhausted he had passed out within minutes. She'd just shaken her head a little and folded the blanket over him, fetching another one for herself.

Now she just stared at the Iron Man helmet on the nightstand, the stars visible in the window beyond it almost seeming to mock her. They shone on, gleaming above the devastation as if none of it mattered. As if nothing had happened that day. As if the world hadn't lost its hero.

As if Pepper hadn't lost her world.

There would be press conferences to deal with. For once, she was grateful Tony had never bothered with a secret identity, because she wouldn't have to lie to the public through her tears. Not having to remember the lie, the way Tony had supposedly died, was a little less on her plate.

But she couldn't handle any of that right now. She just couldn't. It felt like planning the words she would have to say made it real, made it final, that her fiancé was gone.

 _Fiancé._

They never even had the chance to get married. She would never be Pepper Stark-Potts.

On impulse, she grabbed the helmet. She had to, had to hold _something_ more tangible than a ragged shirt. Something that Tony had made, had created with his own hands and mind, probably with a tool or pencil held between his lips as he completely ignored Friday's safety warnings. She let out a half-laugh, half-sob at the image.

Suddenly realizing that Friday would probably have actual footage of Tony being an adorable nerdy sweetheart that she could look at, she slid the helmet on.

The HUD flickered to life alongside Friday's traditional greeting of, _"Evenin', Miss Potts."_ But before Pepper could greet her in return, the AI continued: _"Mr.… The boss recorded a message for ya. In case he… in case today happened the way it happened."_

"Show me," Pepper blurted before she could think better of it.

All of the other displays were swept away in favor of displaying the video. Tony was in his lab, back to the camera as he gestured at and scolded DUM-E. Pepper laughed, instinctively lifting her hand as if she could rub his shoulder, and then he would look up at her and she would see that little sparkle in his eyes reserved just for her.

But of course, her hand never appeared in the video. It just waved through empty air before she dropped it, biting her lip and cursing herself for even trying. But Tony did start turning around, pausing to say one last thing before waving DUM-E off. Then he was facing forward, shaking off the last of his exasperation with the beloved robot before aiming a smile at the camera.

"Hey, Pep," he greeted.

"Hey, Tony," she whispered back, her voice strained from the effort of not crying at the sight of him.

"So, if you're watching this, I am…" He gestured vaguely. "You probably don't wanna hear that word right now. Hopefully I went out heroically, blaze of glory, Chris Pratt in _Magnificent Seven_ type deal, not Dean Winchester in that one episode of _Supernatural_ when he was killed by a piano, funny-tasting tacos, and a slip in the shower. Which, by the way, Pratt looks _oddly_ similar to Quill, doesn't he? Maybe the dude's got a twin he never told us about."

Pepper snorted. _Of course he would wonder that. He probably looked it up._

"But I don't think so, cause I looked it up and the news articles from his disappearance all agree that he was an only child. Anyways, I'm rambling, so, uh, where was I…" He paused, scratching his head.

He dropped his hand back to the desk and sighed. "Look, I know it sounds like I've put some thought into how I'm gonna die, but I don't want to. I love you, Pep, I love you so much. You're my world, and, well, I've been thinking lately that… maybe I wanna expand that world. You know, have a kid or two. Cause Peter and Harley are great, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I just want a kid I don't have to send home after a bit, you know? A kid that's… ours. Pepperony's. A tiny you. God, I hope they'd look like you, cause you're just… you're so perfect. You're smart, and brave, and no offense to Natasha, but you're the most gorgeous woman ever to exist.

"I just… God, how did you pick me, of all people? Girl like you could have anyone, and you go for the dude with a list of issues a mile long. Longer, let's be honest here. You-"

 _"Boss, you're ramblin' again. Time's a-wastin'."_

"Right, uh, I've got a battle to get to. Technically I'm supposed to be suiting up, but, well, that only takes a second. At least I'm wasting time going on about your perfection."

Someone offscreen yelled, "Yo, Tony, hurry up!"

"Give me a minute," Tony yelled back.

"We don't have one, you idiot!"

"Shut up!"

He turned back to the camera, leaning forward on the desk. "So, you heard that, I gotta go. Listen, Pep, if this all goes wrong… I just want to say how lucky I am. I wouldn't trade these years together for anything. If I have to go out, I'm glad it's after loving you. If I hadn't had you… I don't know what I would've done."

"TONY!"

He smiled. It wasn't one of his blinding, look-at-me-I'm-Tony-Stark stage grins, but his soft, glowing, personal smile. And there was that little sparkle. Her little sparkle. "You are the light of my life, Pepper. We may never get married officially, but for whatever it's worth, you've been Pepper Stark-Potts in my heart for a long time now."

He started to get up, then paused, looking back over his shoulder. "And, uh, don't mourn too much, ok? I've lived my life. I've done enough. I'll fight to the end, but if that fight ends today – and I don't want it to – I think… I'm ok with that. I got to be friends with Rhodey. I got to love you. I got to help raise Harley and Peter a bit. I met and befriended aliens. I've saved the world a few times. And… that's a pretty damn full life, don't you think?"

"Yeah," Pepper found herself agreeing, remembering all those moments when Tony bragged happily about his feats. "You did live a great life, didn't you, sweetheart?"

Guilt crossed Tony's expression, and she wanted so badly to kiss it away. "But… I'm sorry for leaving you. Even if I had all the time in the world, I wouldn't be able to apologize enough for that. You deserve better, always have. But you're never alone, ok? Never."

Pepper reached back, brushing her fingers against Rhodey's arm. He stirred a little, shifting towards her.

"So… I gotta go, sweetie. One last time: Virginia Pepper Stark-Potts, I love you. Always have, always will. No matter what."

Tony blew a kiss to the camera, and that's where the video froze. Hand flat, lips puckered, eyes smiling. Pepper just studied it for a moment, committing that frozen moment to memory.

Then, slowly, her vision distorted by tears, Pepper slipped the helmet off. She turned it around, one finger tracing the familiar lines. Lightly, ever so lightly, she kissed its little mouth, pretending just for that heartbeat that it wasn't cold metal. She closed her eyes, pushing out a single tear that crept down her cheek, and leaned her forehead against the mask.

"I love you too, Tony Stark-Potts."


End file.
